Queer JerBear – The Story of My Life on The Margins: Coming Out

A friend’s Facebook post triggered a memory about the first time I went to a gay bar almost exactly 40 years ago! Here’s what I put in the comments of their post:

I first visited the old Mail/Male Box bar on Main St. way back in 1975. I was a closeted gay/gender confused teen, (the drinking age was 18 back then), who went with 4 or 5, mostly freshman students from Atlantic Union College in Lancaster. I was convinced it was just a sociological experiment. When I finally came out in February of 1987 I returned to the bar. Who should I meet but another AUC alumni who said I nearly caught him having sex when I was an RA at the Men’s dorm. I also saw a former cop that I met working campus security at college. He’d been extraordinarily nice to me and I rode along with him in the cruiser when he worked the night shift. Kind of ironic that he was now doing a different kind of cruising. 🙂

Here’s the story of my earlier years, (I wrote this before coming out for a second time as Trans/Agender)…

Fairy JeriBear's Trans/LGBTQIA+ Musings From The City Different - Santa Fe, NM

If you Google or Bing the word “Queer” you will soon come across folks that fully embrace the word, those that are timidly tolerant of it and those whose words drip with venom in their hatred of it’s use. Since I identify as Queer and it is prominent in my blog, I thought I’d share how I went from the closet, to gay and then to Queer. This is the first of two or three parts. This is how I came out…


I first told someone else I was gay when I was a freshman (we didn’t use the term “first year student” back then), in college I met a fellow freshmen named Kevin. He was the most flamboyant person I had ever met and didn’t hide it; not that he could. I listened to tales of sexual encounters while attending a religious boarding school, (Seventh-Day Adventist). I was attracted…

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About Fairy JerBear

A disabled, trans/agender fairy bear living in the American Southwest and passionate about social justice, the environment, Trans/ LGBTQIA+ equality and combating bullying.
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