This is a feature length article on parenting when one of the couple is trans/non-binary gender identified. It is the first article of it’s kind I have come across and I highly recommend reading it. Here are the opening paragraphs of this article in Hazlitt. Continue reading this article by following the link at the bottom of this post
Cara Jeiven was at a drop-in session at a kids’ gymnastics gym in Brooklyn, watching as the manager taught Jeiven’s daughter, Hannah,* how to do a flip on the uneven bars. The woman had the intensity of a reality TV dance mom. “Show Mommy how you do it,” she repeated as Hannah practiced. “Show Mommy how you do it.” Hannah looked around, confused. Her mommy wasn’t there.
Jeiven approached the manager and explained that while she is Hannah’s parent, she goes by a different term. Her wife is “mommy,” and Jeiven is “baba.” The woman laughed and called her own daughter over. “You’re never gonna believe this,” she told her. “This kid’s mom is called ‘baba.’ Isn’t that weird? You call my breasts ‘babas.’”
She persisted in calling Jeiven “mommy.”
Jeiven is one of a growing number of genderqueer, butch, two-spirit, and trans parents who are raising children outside of the rigid binary of “mother” and “father.” In North America, in just the last few years, a more nuanced and complex set of gender identities have achieved mainstream visibility, through fights for legal protection and access to medical care, and growing media acceptance of public figures like Janet Mock, Laverne Cox, and Chelsea Manning. The difference between the reception of Chaz Bono, who came out in 2009, and Caitlyn Jenner, who came out in 2015, speaks volumes—questions and assumptions that would have been a matter of course six years ago are, today, recognized as invasive and besides the point (even as they are still asked and made—lookin’ at you, Katie Couric).
In progressive circles and on university campuses, it’s becoming increasingly common to ask individuals for their preferred pronoun as part of an introduction; conversely, parents—even queer and same sex ones—are routinely read as “mom” or “dad,” with all of the attendant expectations of femininity and masculinity. For decades, queer activists and gender studies scholars have worked to divorce gender and sexual identity. Now, interest has turned to divorcing parenting roles from gender and placing them on their own independent axis—gender, sexuality, and parenting intersect and affect one another, but have no essential, deterministic relationships…
Continue reading this article here: http://hazlitt.net/feature/beyond-mom-n-pop